Captain’s Table Off the Menu? Elderly Couple Faces Tough Choices After Heating Allowance Cut

Posted on January 13, 2025

A Tradition in Peril Michael and Pamela Kensington-Blythe, a well-heeled retired couple from Surrey, have found themselves in the depths of financial anguish following Labour’s recent decision to scrap the £300 heating allowance for pensioners. The couple, who are no strangers to life’s finer things, are now grappling with the heartbreaking reality that their cherished annual upgrade to dine à la carte with the cruise ship’s ...

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Dry January: My Boozy Journey (and the Hangovers That Got Me Here)

Posted on January 10, 2025

So, it’s the tenth of January, and once again, I’m waist-deep in Dry January—for the seventh year running. (Okay, technically sixth, because one year I did Dry February after a January wedding. Details.) This year, I got off to a flying start by obliterating myself on New Year’s Eve. By the time the hangover finally subsided, I didn’t want to look at a drink for a week anyway. Not exactly a health guru’s recommendation, but hey, it ...

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What Happens If the Gulf Stream Collapses?

Posted on January 8, 2025

What is the Gulf Stream? Well, it’s that warm Atlantic current we’ve been taking for granted since the last Ice Age, is the backbone of Europe’s relatively cushy climate. It’s why London is rainy instead of buried in snowdrifts, why Paris in December feels romantic instead of post-apocalyptic, and why Southern Spain isn’t already a barren wasteland. But if the Gulf Stream collapses—and it’s wobbling like a pissed up uncle at a ...

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Why Comparing the UK to Scandinavia in Winter Is Just Plain Daft

Posted on January 4, 2025

Every winter, without fail, the UK is hit by a bout of snow or ice, and the inevitable comparisons to Scandinavia roll in. Social media fills with grumbles about how “Norway keeps going in six feet of snow” or “Sweden never shuts down airports for a bit of ice.” It’s the same old refrain: “Why can’t Britain handle winter properly?” Here’s the short answer: because we don’t need to. The Scandinavian Myth Let’s ...

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Prince Andrew Denies Doing Nothing Wrong for an Entire Week

Posted on December 21, 2024

In a surprising twist, Prince Andrew has issued a statement firmly denying rumours that he went an entire week in late November without engaging in any form of sexual or financial wrongdoing. Baseless Claims The Duke, known for his unwavering commitment to controversy, was adamant: “I categorically deny these baseless claims. I am confident that during that period, I was involved in something—whether it was a dodgy deal, an inapprop...

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