The sweet, sweet taste of a Brexit victory—getting slapped with a mere 10% tariff instead of the EU’s 20%. Pop the champagne, lads! We’ve officially graduated from “completely screwed” to “mildly shafted.” If that’s not a reason to celebrate, what is?

Of course, any trained politician with half a functioning brain cell should see this for what it is: a blatant attempt to drive a wedge between the UK and the EU. But sure, let’s all pretend that being slightly less punished in a self-inflicted economic disaster is a win.

Then there’s Donald Trump, a man who treats trade policy like a toddler smashing random buttons in a nuclear bunker. He may not have quite the same grudge against the UK as he does against the EU, but that’s hardly a comfort when his entire approach to economics boils down to “Me Tarzan, you bankrupt.”

Idiotic Trade Wars

Let’s be honest—trade wars are idiotic. No one wins. The UK is still worse off. The EU is worse off. The global economy will take yet another hit, and all for what? So a few politicians can puff out their chests and pretend they’re protecting domestic industries while actually kneecapping them?

The fact that we’re only getting hit with 10% tariffs is about as much of a Brexit bonus as finding out the mugger who stole your wallet decided to leave you your Tesco Clubcard out of pity. Still, if you want to be stupid enough call that a win, be my guest. If you can’t trust a man who has been bankrupt at least six times who can you trust?

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Ursula.