In a surprising twist, Prince Andrew has issued a statement firmly denying rumours that he went an entire week in late November without engaging in any form of sexual or financial wrongdoing.

Baseless Claims

The Duke, known for his unwavering commitment to controversy, was adamant: “I categorically deny these baseless claims. I am confident that during that period, I was involved in something—whether it was a dodgy deal, an inappropriate conversation, or a terribly misjudged handshake. I stand by my track record.”

Royal insiders have reportedly been combing through his diary from that week to find anything incriminating. “It’s very unlike him,” one source said, “but we remain confident something will turn up. Probably involving a fraudster’s yacht.”

Strong Denial of Rightdoing

When pressed for further comment, Andrew added, “Look, I don’t sweat over these things. But rest assured, I am not the man to go seven days without questionable behaviour. That’s simply not who I am.”

Stay tuned for updates, as investigations into his November activities continue.n