I’m starting to panic about the rain never stopping. Are we in a permanent state of wetness courtesy of global warming? The records just keep tumbling. In the past year, it feels like we’ve seen more rain than a tropical rainforest during monsoon season.

The jet stream seems to have taken up permanent residence above our heads, treating us to an endless barrage of downpours. A look ahead offers no respite. More rain and no dry spell in sight. My grass in the garden is so waterlogged, I’m considering starting a rice paddy business.

As the rain continues, local streams have transformed into mini versions of the River Thames! As a consequence Southern Water’s ineptitude is being highlighted in all its glory as drains overflow and fill waterways with sewage. It’s like they’re running a sewage-themed waterpark.

Throughout my life, I’ve held on to the belief that the weather will even out. But it seems Mother Nature missed the memo and decided to go all-in on the wet and soggy theme. Will it ever end? It has to, doesn’t it? Otherwise, I might just have to invest in flippers for my daily dog walks.

Still, on the bright side, at least I’m getting free daily showers. They say laughter is the best medicine, so i am attempting to embrace the rain with open arms and an increasingly damp sense of optimism. After all, a little water never hurt anyone, except me when I slip on the mud.

So here’s to hoping for some sunshine and barbecue filled days ahead. Until then, I’ll be here, wringing out my socks, nursing my sprains and wiping down the mutt, who enjoys it all far too much for my liking.

Saturday looks dry…ish!