I was having a riverside chat with my cricket captain yesterday. It was supposed to be about the new cricket season but it inevitably it drifted into politics and the host of bullying ineptitudes in the Tory Party. When the conversation drifted towards, arguably, the most inept of them all, James described Liz Truss (AKA Trussterfuck) as a ‘Post Turtle’. I had never heard this term before. Apparently, it originates from the United States.

Turtle on a Fence Post

So, what is a ‘Post Turtle’?

Well, if you keep reading, you will soon find out. You see, a post turtle is not your average turtle. No, no, no. This turtle is a special kind of turtle. It’s the kind of turtle that you find perched on top of a fence post.

So, if you saw a turtle on a fence, you would almost certainly think to yourself, “How on earth did that turtle get up there?” And that, my dear readers, is the million-dollar question. Nobody really knows for sure. Some will say the turtle got there by sheer luck, while others will be convinced it was put there by a prankster.

Utterly Helpless

But here’s the thing about the post turtle: it’s completely and utterly helpless. It has no idea how to get down from its lofty perch. And if you try to help it, it’s liable to lash out and retreat back into its shell. It’s there now, so it’s not coming down without a fight, no matter how daft it looks.

So the next time you come across a post turtle, just remember: it’s a symbol of political incompetence. As the old saying goes, “If you see a turtle on a fence post, you know it didn’t get there by itself.”

Tory Post Turtles

Just like David Cameron, Theresa May, Boris Johnson, Liz Truss, Rishi Sunak and so on. In fact, unbelievably, Sunak is even more of a ‘Post Turtle’ than the rest of them, including Truss. As chancellor he allowed billions to exit the economy in Covid fraud and actually lost the party leadership contest to Truss. He must be the most unelected leader in modern history.

A ‘Post Turtle’ if there ever was one.