Boris Johnson has undergone emergency surgery to have MP’s and former cabinet ministers from his anal passage, it has been revealed.

Gucci Shoe

Johnson fell ill in the early hours of the morning, with his wife, Carrie, calling ambulance services after discovering a Gucci shoe poking out of his dirtbox. It is thought to be owned by Zac Goldsmith.

At this stage of what is a complex operation, surgeons are not certain how many MP’s are up Johnson’s arse. However, they did confirm that a mop of blonde hair had been pushed up his throat, resulting in a dry tickly cough.

Dr. Alan Passage

Consultant Surgeon, Dr. Alan Passage, has stated it could be either Nadine Dorries or Michael Fabricant, as they were the first MPs up his arse on Saturday. Jacob Rees Mogg is thought to be stuck somewhere between Goldsmith and Peter Bone and is reluctant to move.

Although Johnson’s situation is serious, it is thought that the number of MP’s in his digestive system is well short of the 100 that is being claimed.

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