On Saturday mornings there are a couple of scientists on BBC Breakfast called Chris Smith and Linda Bauld. I find that they are a great combination for those like me who are suckers for an idiots guide to being an amateur epidemiologist.

This morning they were discussing vaccines and the likelihood of blood clots and side effects. It was the side effects bit that fascinated me as I didn’t appear to get any, whilst others claim to have been wiped out for 24 hours. Jennifer (my partner) felt rough for about eight hours.

So what was worrying me? Well nothing much, but I did start wondering whether my body hadn’t noticed the vaccine coming in. Could this mean that I wouldn’t see the real thing if it attacked me?

After all, vaccines are supposed to mimic the effects of coronavirus, so if your immune system doesn’t spot the dummy run, why would it see the real nasty bastard when it swings by for a visit? Am I still a sitting duck?

Age Benefit

Anyway, it turns out that us people without side effects needn’t worry as in most cases it’s just because we are getting old (a rare benefit). That’s right, all the studies suggest that the older you are the less likely you are to have a reaction to the vaccine.

Why this is the case, I don’t think anyone really knows? It could be that younger people are more likely to be psychosomatic hypochondriacs, which would be great for fun poking. Or it could just be that older people are so used to years of viruses popping in and out of their system, they don’t notice a vaccine that offers mild symptoms.

I have another theory.

It could just be that because the older we get, the more knackered and rough we feel on a daily basis without really noticing it. If I put my 25 year old self into my 53 year old body, I would be onto 999 in seconds, screaming, “EMERGENCY, EMERGENCY, I’M FUCKING DYING!!!”

When youthful skip is replaced by arthritic hip, or an eight hour hangover can be acquired courtesy of two glasses of plonk, a vaccine side effect is a picnic by a glistening trout stream in comparison. My theory is us older folk are getting side effects but we have trained ourselves not to notice them.

You heard it here first.