I’ll get straight to the point here. Boris Johnson’s cabinet pretending to care about football is the second most nauseating thing I have seen since this bunch of serial carpetbaggers took office. The first most nauseating thing I have seen is this. Grown men outside football stadiums chanting about how much they care about greed. I can almost taste the vomit rising into my mouth.

As much as a charlatan Johnson is, you can’t blame him for jumping on the bandwagon. It’s what he does best and there was no way he was going to miss this opportunity. Allegations of greed, corruption and favours for mates are stacking up against him, so this was a great opportunity. Populism at its most mesmeric.

Dyson

The latest revelation being this. Johnson promised his tax avoiding mate, James Dyson, that his company and its employees wouldn’t have to pay UK tax if they aided the ventilator effort. Johnson promised Dyson that Rishi (Sunak) would sort it. When Dyson couldn’t get confirmation (perhaps suspecting Johnson was bullshitting again) Johnson told him that as Lord Chancellor it would be sorted.

There is another side to this story. It was alleged at the time that UK based company, Gtech, had offered to create ventilators but were stood down. Why stand down a UK manufacturer in favour for a friend, party donor and tax dodger who ran off to Singapore with his business? Didn’t Dyson like missing out on good PR? Did he tell Johnson they wouldn’t be friends anymore?

I don’t know, but we all know this. A businessman who legged it to Singapore to avoid tax, was texting the PM, in a pandemic, to demand tax breaks in return for aiding a national crisis. The PM caved in and said he would sort it. Who needs enemies when you have friends like James Dyson, the great innovator made in Britain and deserted to Singapore?

As it happens, ventilators weren’t needed because medical treatment for Covid took different channels. It was probably a good thing, because according to some, the Dyson ones wouldn’t have worked very well. Still, at least you would have been able to choose which colour one sucked your lungs out. I would have gone for grey and orange; I think it is nice combination.

The Super League

Around about the same time as this scandal emerged, the footballing superpowers (and Tottenham) were chucking a canary down the mine to see what reaction a European Super League would get. Well, forget Dyson, David Cameron potentially skimming £60 million off the NHS, or Johnson’s varying financial misdemeanours (including a £120k shag) the football fans went batshit crazy.  

The people running the country can go on a carpetbagging frenzy as much as they like but don’t mention a European Super League in football. It’s like fans have only just noticed football is about greed. Football has been about greed from the moment its organising bodies realised how invested in it we are. Football is a compelling global addiction, and its supporters are sitting ducks to be ripped off. They have been since as long as I have been watching the game (about 45 years).

Football will continue to evolve and eventually move onto a European, then global league, due to its worldwide appeal. English teams rejected the European Cup in the 1950’s until, eventually, the glamour and reward saw Manchester United see sense and join in. It’s going to happen, and this was just a test case to see how many more years to leave it before a more sustained effort.

Emergency Summit Meeting

Still, it allowed Johnson to call an emergency summit meeting and pretend to care about football. He couldn’t get enough of it. President Bolsonaro over in Brazil must have been writhing in rabid jealousy at such a populist distraction. There can’t be anything better for a populist leader than a crisis within its national sport. It is a dream ticket.

£30 billion on Test & Trace?

“Couldn’t give a fuck mate, Boris is right funny he is”.

European Super League?

“DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY FOOTBALL, YOU GREEDY BASTARDS!!!”

Whisper it quietly but the greedy bastards trying to take football to a European, then global money machine, are the same greedy bastards Johnson feeds off.

If you don’t believe me, Goggle ‘JP Morgan, Tory donor’.