It is great to hear the news Priti ‘Vacant’ Patel is going to be cleared of systematic bullying of staff. Fortunately, an independent internal inquiry set up by Boris Johnson and chaired by cabinet ministers, has ensured government transparency.

It will be a relief to the general public that investigations under the Ministerial Code require that details of the case be not written down. They also contain no rights for those who might complain, and the outcome is decided in secret, by the Prime Minister.

A Fair Process

This would seem a completely fair process, particularly if you have renamed yourself Franz Guntner, as a tribute to the former Reich Minister of Justice. There is little point in an internal investigation if you if it cannot be decided by those closest the defendant.

Despite a degree of suspicion from loony lefty, Marxist, communists, before the case was heard, Johnson had made his impartiality clear, saying, “I’m sticking by her, she is a fine Home Secretary, delivering change”. The lovable PM also stated that he loathes bullying; a bit like my dog loathes bones.

Patel celebrated being cleared of bullying with a meal at home featuring Labrador puppies in a kitten blood sauce.