Hands up who has had a day when they hear so much about Coronavirus, they go to bed convinced they have it?

There are major psychological issues going on with this thing and I am in no doubt that taking on too much negative information is damaging to the soul. Today, I avoided the news and felt much better.

However, we also need to take on bad news. Simply ignoring it will mean the length of time we are in a state of chaos, will go on and on.

How We React to a Crisis

There are three types of people when it comes to this virus.

1/ Those who take in all the information to a point where it worries them sick and they think they have the virus (me).

2/ The whack jobs who choose to believe bizarre conspiracies about the cure being hidden in Israel, Chinese authorities trying to kill the elderly and Bill Gates creating the virus in a Nevada laboratory.

3/ The people who think it is all a load old bollocks whipped up by the media and a bit of flu never did anyone any harm (apart from those who died).

When I weigh up everything I have heard or read this week, there is one thing that remains consistent. Social distancing. I don’t know how many people have taken this on board, but it seems quite apparent that the functioning of the NHS depends on it. Get it wrong and the system will collapse under the weight of critical cases.

Its fascinating how something so basic can have such a huge impact on our future. I can only assume that the government are trusting the public to adhere to the social distancing strategy. Is that why the government is not locking down? Perhaps because we are not particularly flamboyant in our greetings with friends and family, we can be trusted to successfully administer social distancing?

How We Greet Each Other

In Italy for example, they are far more family orientated than us. The way they greet each other is alien to us Brits. We are, some would say, far colder by nature. Hugging and double cheek kissing is a standard greeting in central and southern Europe. Yet I have friends I have known for 45 years who I have only ever hugged when I have been roaring drunk.

Of course, I may be talking utter bollocks here and the real reason to keeping open while others lock down, is economic. People may say that economics shouldn’t come into this crisis but remember, we are about to head towards having debt that is 120% of GDP. The banking crash of 2008 continues to haunt us and as a consequence, this will the first time since the mid sixties our debt will outstrip GDP.

Whatever the case, social distancing seems to be where it is at. For those of us bought up in an era where a couple of sharp jabs to the chest or a hearty whack on the back was a term of endearment, I reckon we can nail this and flatten that dreaded curve (squash the sombrero).

For the younger metropolitan generation who like to behave like they are French, Spanish or Italian, they need to change their habits and become colder and stoical, like us miserable old fuckers, or else.

What I am saying is that if we get forced into lock down, it will be all their fault; the bloody softies.

Next week: How scientists discovered why the sun is going to explode in 2024