I have just noticed that this is blog is number one thousand since I started writing for a hobby way back in 2008. That is a lot of blog posts but judging by the fact that they take roughly an hour to produce, I would need to write nine thousand more to become an expert at blogging.

This figure is based on the theory that to become an expert at anything takes ten thousand hours of practice, whether it be sport, maths, chess, writing or acting. That’s why so many experts are boring; they have nothing else to talk about except their chosen subject that they practice at levels that must be quite far along the autistic spectrum.

Still, I have improved as you will be able to see if you look at my earlier efforts that I have decided not to edit and correct so they can serve as a reminder how hard it is to learn to write again when you haven’t really done it since you were preparing essays for GCSE exams way back in the 1980’s.

When I started writing back in 2008 it was for my own benefit really but after a while a few people picked up on it and I began to get a small following with the occasional ‘viral’ post that actually fills you with more fear than excitement, especially when they feature subjects such as right-wing extremism and civil war in Ukraine (I still want to say ‘the Ukraine’ but it is incorrect).

One particular post resulted in me receiving a message saying ‘bang, bang, you’re dead’ whilst another from an assistant of Tory MP, Caroline Nokes, was threatening legal action if I did not take it down or donate to a chosen charity (‘Fox hunters in Need’ or something similar).

Nokes was embarking on an extra-marital affair whilst signing up to the Tory ‘Christian Values’ act and I’m afraid one couldn’t resist it. Unfortunately I had to take the post down as I do not have the legal backing that national newspapers can boast but I kept my pride intact by steadfastly refusing to pay any money to the jumped up little shit that was pursuing me.

Caroline Nokes wasn’t a fan of my blog pages

Still, little did I know all those years ago that Nokes’ behaviour was something of a picnic to what has been happening to the country since the Tories came to power in 2010. If you remember they were vowing that we were ‘All in it together’ after the financial industry crashed the economy with billions and billions of pounds of unregulated gambling.

To say that that we were all in it together was a way of blaming everyone for the folly of their chief donors who should have, in a decent world, been heading for a tasty stretch at Her Majesty’s pleasure. Trouble was, Her Majesty had money tied up in their offshore investments.

The behaviour of these cretins who, for their destruction, were given bonuses in the form of quantitative easing, has divided the UK and our allies in America to the point that lunatics have become ennobled to vote for lunatics to take over the asylum as madmen like Donald Trump and Nigel Farage are given credence over anyone sensible or qualified in their profession.

We now find ourselves in a position where poverty, hunger, homelessness and malnutrition are at Dickensian levels whilst our Prime Minister, who is not even the maddest person controlling the asylum, celebrates a new Blue Passport and the return to greatness of a country that has never been so vulnerable and uncertain of itself.

Anyway, enough of that, it is now time to wish all of you who follow me, a Merry Christmas.

I was actually looking forward to blogging about the misery of being in Tesco’s on the last Saturday before Christmas but unfortunately it was a remarkably uplifting experience, despite suffering the first world inconvenience of the store running out of sellotape just when folk need it most.

All the tills were well manned, the staff we handing out store plans to make everything easier and every now and then, shoppers were approached by assistants carrying tubs of Quality Street (I had 4). With ample parking and smiling helpers at every turn it was ranters nightmare as there was nothing to complain about except the sellotape.

I was so content that I even gave the person behind me my Tesco points as I sang along with Roy Wood, even if saying ‘Are you ready children’ in a high pitched voice did raise a few eyebrows in times when any association with the 1970’s can cause unwanted suspicion.

So on that positive note, I would like to thank everyone who follows my blog for their ongoing support, it is really appreciated even if it wasn’t what I originally created it for.

Have a great Christmas.