I was delighted to see in the news today that Victoria Beckham has received an OBE for her services to something or the other.

With her dreadful voice, dubious fashion range and an unflappable ability to encourage young girls to take the bulimia route to looking sexy, it is no less than this faux Queen of Hearts deserves.

She has her critics, but who knows where the world would be now without Victoria Beckham? 1996 changed everything, with the hastily manufactured ground breaking single ‘Wannabee’ leading the way to a post-modern political game changer in the form of’ ‘Girl Power’.

Girl Power smashed the political system allowing a relentless movement of talentless young girls across the nation to starve themselves to death and crave for just one opportunity to grovel at the feet of alternative child abuser, Simon Cowell, who himself was rewarded with an MBE for ‘services to verbally abusing talentless people in front of a baying mob’.

In times of geopolitical uncertainty, we should all reflect on the value of the honours system and applaud one of the few people who had the audacity to smash down the barriers of formality to lead a counter-revolution that has led to over 20 years of world peace.

Victoria Beckham, I salute you.