If you were ever to believe you were living in a parallel universe, this week would have to be the one that confirmed it.

In a week where we have been warned that antibiotics are about to run out of juice, where the political equivalent of Laurel & Hardy are overseeing the EU exit negotiations, and the proxy war between the US and Russia intensifies, what are we supposed to do?

It’s obvious…we should wildly celebrate the heroism of Mary Berry staying with the BBC and mourn the breakdown of a marriage between Hollywood’s greatest couple since Liz Taylor and Richard Burton, or courtesy of the recent craze of indulging in vomit inducing portmanteaus, ‘Tayburt’.

If like me, you are sick of portmanteaus, you can make yourself vomit until you are transparent by checking the full list here.

Some showbiz hack who turned up on the radio the other day said that, “everyone who has been through a divorce will know how Brad and Angelina will be feeling right now.”

Yeah, I remember it well, sorting out who was going to get which of the 27 houses and selection of cars whilst my ex-wife was jetting off to UN conferences with the world’s political leaders; it really was a tough time.

As for Mary Berry, I am sure she is very nice, in a pious vintage BBC kind of way, but for crying out loud, what is it about a cake making contest that is causing such a frenzy? The BBC jump all over these successes (she’s staying at the Beeb you know!) as if though it makes everything else okay…“We may have overseen the second biggest ever paedophile ring (not even the BBC can compete with religion) but Mary Berry is staying…Yay!”

It kind of reminds me of the episode of Fawlty Towers when the chef celebrated that the cat hadn’t eaten the piece of veal with rat poison on it. Basil Fawlty sarcastically joined the celebrations by shouting “Hooray for the cat…we’re about to take the life of a health inspector but the cat’s ok!”

Channel 4 have bought the rights to ‘Bake Off’  but they only have one presenter left (Frankie Hollywood, I think) so after shelling out £75 million, there must be a fair few fucks flying around the C4 studios…they could have bought Paul Pogba for that….well, three quarters of him anyway.

I have never watched the ‘Bake Off’ but I am sure it is very good viewing for people who like eating cakes, or baking them, or indeed both, but how on earth has it has become headline news in a week where we are hardly short of big news stories?

250,000 and counting have died since the people’s uprising in Syria and the economy is on the cusp of something nasty if Boris Johnson and David Davies keep up the bad work, but no one seems to care when there is a Bake Off crisis to sort out.

They do some great stuff and they must be protected from the Murdoch’s, but BBC really do annoy me with their self-righteousness. They have made an absolute balls up of impartiality in recent times, in particular during the referendum, giving absolute 24 carat bullshit the same, or an even bigger platform than statistics and facts, thus playing their part regarding the current economic confusion.

The smugness and piety has returned with gusto, courtesy of an old dear who is gushing in her thanks for this wonderful institution that snapped up records by The Sex Pistols and Frankie Goes to Hollywood whilst allowing the presenters who deplored these rebels to molest the kids on their shows.

I would have thought the BBC might have learnt to be a bit more humble.

Wrong.