Right, I am going to say it…ready? I can muster no interest in the Para-Olympics whatsoever. Right, come and lynch me, put me in the stocks and pelt me with rotten vegetables, then hang me in the tower and allow my eyes to be pecked out by hungry ravens. However, even that threat wont change my perception of how I view the Para-Olmypics which despite the undoubted courage of those taking part, fails to impress me as a sports fan. When I watch the 100 metres, I watch it to see someone become the fastest man in the world, not some poor bugger hopping on one leg against someone who seems to be perfectly normal apart from not having the IQ to pass their GCSE’s. I know, I know,  they categorise it somehow, but the brief bit I saw last night had a one legged cyclist against a two legged one, which I kind of thought was a bit unfair until, quite remarkably, the one legged one won with some ease.

Now, anyone who can ride a bike one legged gets nothing but admiration from me, as does someone who can do the backstroke with no arms, it is an extraordinary achievement, but come on everyone, be honest with yourselves, it is not like watching Bradley Wiggins or Michael Phelps is it? False public admiration is forced upon us everywhere and celebrities jump on the bandwagon to gain cheap love from their fans for being so humble, I have nothing against Para-Olympics, but it is, in reality a festival of media falseness rather than a festival of sport. I wish I perceived it otherwise, but an event where it is extremely difficult to categorise and where sporting excellence is absent, it is really nothing to get excited about, unless in course you a are competitor. If heaven forbid, I was in a wheelchair, I would want to beat every other person who had one and I can fully understand that, but if I was doing the 100 metres with no arms against some Ukranian bloke with an ingrowing toenail, I would feel a bit hard done by.

When I was younger I was shit at athletics, but I reckon if they had increased the boundaries of disability to include English/Scottish hybrids with 28″ legs I could have been a gold medal winner, because, when all said and done, there is a limited number of of English/Scottish hybrids and even fewer with 28″ legs. That is my point, I heard on the radio this morning that the GB sat down volleyball team were up against against some former eastern block nation and I thought to myself,  how many sit down volleyball players are there in this country? Probably just about enough to raise a team, so whilst I applaud them, I am struggling to see where sporting excellence comes in to it. Maybe I was spoilt by the pure brilliance of athletes at their physical peak during the Olympics, but to me sport as a spectator event, is only really appealing when the very best runners, rowers and cyclists have achieved their success by being the best living person in the world at that event.

Go on, take me to the Tower….