As I very nearly predicted my new iPhone arrived just at that point of the day on Wednesday when tiredness sets in (6.00pm) so for once in my life I took the sensible route and left the demands of setting it up until Wednesday morning. At this point I have to hold my hands up in the air and say that the new iPhone is the best bit of technology I have ever set my hands upon. Quite frankly, it is Bob proof, a problem that a succession of mobile and IT companies have failed to overcome during the last 15 years that I have been in business. Check this installation process out, it really is amazing. I opened the box, I connected the USB cable to phone, then to my laptop and this happened. My iTunes page opened and a little icon popped up saying iPhone, I clicked on it and it and was asked if I would like to synchronise my iPhone to Outlook. I clicked yes and after thirty odd seconds all my contacts appeared on my new phone. No messing about with sim cards, no copying contacts from phone to sim, no Bluetooth misery, no raging blood pressure, no hassle at all. It was almost disappointing, I had built myself up for wasted hours of frustration, resulting in a furious ranting and raging blog aimed at Apple inc.

Shortly after I had got over the shock of the easy installation I started playing around with all the features, I really did my best to fuck it up but I couldn’t, I even rammed a dart in to the sim card release hole but I still didn’t break it, though it was worth a try. This thing is incredible, it is like they have interviewed thousands of useless cretins like me and made it their mission statement to design something that is idiot proof, even to complete fuckwitts called Bob who refuse to read instruction manuals and throw tantrums at the first hurdle technology throws their way. This thing is a million miles away from a Blackberry when it comes to simplicity and some of the features are so brilliant they are beyond comprehension. For instance, the voice recognition feature that can be used for verbally sending emails and texts is so accurate it has to be used to be believed and the camera, maps and calendar facilities are straightforward and simple to use….. it even has a phone on it so you can ring people up!!! In fact on the phone you just say “Call John Smith” or whoever it is and it does it just like that…… iPhone have revolutionised voice recognition technology, it used to be absolutely hopeless, not even worth attempting unless you had a perversion for calling anyone except the person whose name you have just called out loud in a slow voice that makes you sound like some sort of disturbed social inadequate . My only concern with the iPhone’s brilliance is that we may be moving in to a technological era where Apple are a step ahead of all my inabilities and useless memory……what will I have to trigger the childish tantrums I have learnt to love so much?

The word memory moves me nicely on to the next stage of this blog and that is to link a web page sent to me by a lady called Jasmine Hall who works for a company called Online Colleges. It turns out that Jasmine (who I don’t know) is a regular reader of my blog and she thought that a subject they published online recently would be worthy of a link on my blog and after seeing it I have to agree. As regular readers will know, I recently published a blog about my hopeless memory and a recent study by the University of London that suggested that our memory starts receding from as early as forty five years old . Online colleges have produced an excellent and thoroughly understandable page (did they invent the iPhone?) about the workings of the human brain, how it is divided up, what makes it work well and what causes it damage. The page is called “How Memory Works” and it is particularly interesting to see the things that can damage the ability to remember and those that can possibly enhance the chances of me finding my keys and wallet on a more regular basis. To see if it works, tonight I am having grass fed beef for dinner followed by blueberries and yogurt for dessert. If I lose my wallet tomorrow Jasmine will get a letter of complaint, though I wont tell her that I am also likely to have four pints of Ringwood Best and half a bottle of red wine later.  Anyway, have a look at the page by clicking here I found it really interesting, you may or may not, but I think most of you will.

One thing certainly worth remembering this weekend is where you have put all your jumpers, scarves, hats and gloves, because comparatively speaking, it is going to be quite cold, well below freezing at night and crispy sunshine by day, a nice change from the murky, mild and bug ridden weather we have had since well before Christmas. I will be out in the fresh air for a good part of the day, firstly refereeing kids football at Broughton, then travelling to Hertfordshire with George to watch Reading take on Watford in the evening. The most likely encounter for thrills and spills promises to be the Broughton v Whitchurch fixture, a local derby that will feature my girlfriends daughter on one team, my nephew on the other, and my rather excitable elder brother on the sidelines, I bet he will hardly sleep tonight. For my part I need to try to remain focused as the referee, as there is a bit of rivalry giving an edge to this game as Whitchurch narrowly won the last encounter which feat a hotly contested free kick and a ticking off for their manager by a child welfare officer. The last thing I need is a public spat with Bruce (my brother) over a refereeing decision, because after all, this is an under 9 match.

Still, if he carries on too much I will brandish my red card and send him to his car…….oooh the power of a black outfit and a whistle!!!

Have a good one folks!