I have finally purchased my season tickets for an extravaganza of nearly top flight football at Reading FC. However, after relentlessly pursuing me for with emails and mail shots, Reading suddenly went cold on me, and via their fantastic website did everything they could to stop me releasing my money, behaving a bit like a women who flirts with a man with provocative outfits and subtle come ons, before telling the poor bastard to clear off when he makes his move.

As proof that mail marketing can work, I was finally convinced by a flier that came through my door uniquely titled NEW SEASON TICKETS ON SALE NOW……………..Be The Royals New Signing. It even came with a little note from likable manager Brian McDermott thanking me in advance for my support. It was too much to resist so as suggested I went to http://www.readingfc.co.uk/ to book tickets for my son and I.

It started quite well actually, I clicked the tab saying season tickets which took me through to another page which gave descriptions of pricing etc and a click here link to purchase. It then tells you that you are only browsing and to log in with your existing member number and post code. I thought I was going insane when it kept rejecting my postcode, how could have I forgotten it? After several failed attempts, a flick through the website informed me that Reading FC was the last case sensitive website in the world, and as I eventually logged in with capitals, little was I to know my problems were just beginning.

Once in I clicked on another season tickets tab which sent me to another tab saying select seats now, this sent me to an impressive above view seating plan. I selected G4 stand which then directed me to all the seats available, I selected 2 seats, one for me one for George, mine £395 his £99 and proceeded to check out.

Transaction Total £395 (Adult) £395 (Adult) £790. What????? I had registered a junior and an adult, what was going on I didn’t want 2 adult tickets? I deleted my Shopping Basket and started the process again, the seats I had chosen were now not available………….fuck, had I bought them or not, and had I paid full whack for a junior ticket? In a panic I picked two others, and somehow this time when I clicked checkout, George came up as a junior the two now costed the right amount of £494.00, but of course I was now concerned I had bought 3 adult and 1 junior ticket at a combined total of £1284.00!!!

I hadn’t given my credit card details, but I thought maybe they still had them from last time and it was charged automatically (it does on ITunes). Now it was showing four seats unavailable that had been just 20 minutes previously, it couldn’t have been a coincidence, though I noted in red letters that I had made an undefined error whatever that was, so before I stuck my foot through the screen, I decided to leave it, and ring in the morning before I inadvertently purchased all the available seats in the West stand. I went to bed with far too much adrenalin in my system before fitfully going to sleep.

“Aaah good morning, I tried to buy my season tickets online last night, and to be honest, I got so confused by your online purchasing system I don’t know whether I have bought them or in fact how many I have bought, it might be none or it might be thirty!”

“You can’t buy them online sir you have to do it on the phone, or in person”

I was so speechless I didn’t even find out why, everywhere you look on the flier and on the Website it is guiding you too buy season tickets on line yet I couldn’t do it, now that is staggeringly bad service, as well as blatantly incorrect information. Enough to put off any purchaser, unless of course they are deluded football supporters used to years of customer abuse. John Madjeski could put on a pair of hobnail boots and individually kick every supporter in the bollocks, and they would all still come back for more. Most women, quite understandably, can’t get their heads round this, if the women I know were supporters, Reading would get most of their coverage on BBC Watchdog.

So why have I bought these tickets (I did it on the phone)? Is it because of the fine ales and food available at the ground? Is it because the numerous sensibly priced parking options available around the stadium? Is it because of the festival of fine football on display? No, it is none of these, the beer is crap (£3.40 for a bitter in a plastic cup) and expensive, the food is inedible, the car parking (£7.00) is extortion personified, and the football……………… well let’s wait and see shall we?

The main reason behind this expense I can ill afford, is that over the Summer I kind of miss my mates Stewart, Del, Mark, Pete, Dave, and Paul, and knowing that they had all renewed made me realise that it would have left a social hole in my winter calendar. If it is a wet November Saturday afternoon, we all know that wrapping up warm, having a few beers, a bit of banter, and a bit of football, is far better than any other option available to us.

My marital status means I am luckier than most, but for some it means decorating or contemplating suicide trudging round a bleak shopping centre. You can do anything with kids and family in the sunshine, but in the pissing rain and temperatures of 8c your options become limited, so in my opinion it’s for the best for all concerned to go to football. If we are honest, the social aspect of the day is often more fun than what is happening on the field, but every season there is always one or two games when you go home thinking “that was bloody great entertainment.”

I wish I didn’t support Reading sometimes, but having been born there, I have no choice.

Have I justified my purchase yet?

Thought not!