Awoke this morning after a surreal dream involving a collapsed clothes horse, a broken down car and another deluge of rain…………………………….Oh no……………. it wasn’t a nightmare …………this was very real.After a great holiday the last couple of days have been something of a farce. My credit card has been stopped as I made my last payment to a card that I had reported lost/stolen and had been rejected (no one told me about this) therefore as I have to wait 3 working days for the payment to clear to release the card.

Just for a laugh when you are bored, try ringing up a lady in Bombay and beg her to release your stopped credit card, it was a pathetic, I grovelled as much I could, but Indian’s are expertly trained in the art of red tape, so I now have the situation where 2k has left my bank and will sit in cyberspace untill Tuesday when I can use my credit card again. If you have never been humbled try talking to Sheeila in Bombay, she will sort it.

I contacted the lady at reception to see if she would ring the garage to see what was going on with my dead car and she came back with the traditional gallic shrug and said “they dont know”. Apparently it is undergoing tests, it’s a car for f*cks not a human being with chest pains. Anyway I have to report back later for the results where they will probably say “I am sorry Monsieur Lethaby your car has terminal cancer”.

Whatever happens this is not going to be cheap, which is besides the point as I currently have no F*cking money anyway. The chances of getting home on Sunday are currently standing between 0 and 0. Have to go now I need to Sheeila in Bombay and beg for mercy!