I was flicking through the Sunday tabloids on…………..Sunday would you believe, and as I turned over page after page of utter dross revolving around footballers and prostitutes, I eventually came across something of real quality………a John Wayne American Icon Cuckoo Clock, as seen below!!

You need send no money now, and this timeless masterpiece of handcrafted genius can be all yours for just £149.95 or in five installments of just £29.99 (plus £9.95 p+p).

John Wayne and his trusty horse dollar rode into the hearts of a generation, and now you can see Dollar appear through the stable door on the hour every hour, just as he did all those years ago, you can even hear his timeless gallop!!!

This wood encased masterpiece stands at 24 inches tall (that’s nearly as big as John Wayne’s legendary cock!!) and you can even see the man himself at the saloon doors, which actually swing into the backdrop of the bar, which is lit by LED lighting allowing the great man to cast a daunting shadow across the room.

This truly is a unique opportunity for someone in a deteriorating state of mental health to part with this Winter’s fuel allowance, and purchase a genuine collectors item to pass on to Grandchildren despite their protests. In a true test of time, they will keep it in their loft for several years before selling it on for 15 pence at a car boot sale.

Patients……I mean customers, who also bought this product also (quite remarkably) bought the following:

The Call Of The Blue Tit Cuckoo Clock

Lady of Lourdes Heart Shaped Pendant

Hand Crafted John Wayne Shot Glass

Daughters Love Keepsake Watch

Hand Painted “Ready Teddy Go” On A Motorbike

John Wayne: American Legend 16-inch Accent Lamp

You can see more beautifully crafted products at http://www.bradford.co.uk/ but hurry, these limited edition masterpieces are only available forever, so turn your heating off, and order one NOW!!!